#3 is tricky. What is if they're manipulating you in the name of boundaries.
Ex. a friend saying she wants to partner with you for a project. Doesn't communicate that she is reconsidering if it's good for her to partner for a project then when you ask about it you get a message "we agreed to commit to setting boundaries and I'm happy we are doing this side by side but I want to put myself in vulnerable situations with this project and therefore won't be available for you for anything regarding this project".
This is a boundary. But it's set on me, not on the person placing the boundary for themselves and it's gaslighting and manipulation at its best. Maybe thats what this person is trying to say. Of course it goes back to #1 that boundaries are for oneself. But I think it's important for this to be addressed because people do that and it's painful. This is not how setting boundaries should look; controlling, reactive, non compassionate. I'd be happy to hear your thoughts
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